I have two shows: (and the one on Friday is a big deal for me)
TO BEGIN… This Thursday in downtown Oakland I’m playing music for an awesome friend iArtMagick whose doing an art show!
Please come, it will be free & artsy & good people & SHE (the artist) is amazing. My group goes on at 8:00pm!
And this FRIDAY at THE NEW PARISH!!!
Opening for Mirah, she is amazing & um.. this is kind of a big deal for me… So you should please come support! I am but the little eety-beety opening act so I go on at 8:00pm SHARP! <3
In the meantime.. while I work on this future music video, I share My Own One with you… I am so blessed to have gotten the opportunity to have my music be exposed to so many across the U.S. through a commercial. If you haven’t already, check out the song that this opportunity came from. And subscribe to my youtube channel!
Hey Girls and Boys. I’ll be at the Parkway Bar in La Mesa (San Diego) THIS SATURDAY! kicking off a showcase of local singer/songwriters, brought together by the Homegrown Hour I go on at 4:00pm (happy hour time!) and the show is FREE and ALL AGES. Dont be late! It’ll be short and sweet
This Thursday.. come and support a bad-ass line-up of bad-ass artists. Yes.. a night of all ladies.. and they are all great…
~ Mara Hruby// Kacey Johansing// Emily Moldy // Sparkbox ~
:::: From a page in my book; (no date.. but probably sometime in July)::::
You ask what a dream is
Its what I wish the world was
You ask what my world is
My world is a circle. or an ocean, or a cycle of faces, words, patters
In my mind, my world spins on an axis
And I’m wise like a counter clock but naive like the child that I am
Im sitting in a writing workshop.
And I’m asking these students to speak on their worlds. They have so much inside them. It seems they are so used to death, How could I ever understand?
Human beings dropping like flies around them. Did you hear about the news? Oh you didnt? “Richmond is on fire” (said RAW Talent) How did humans get to this point? Systems I can see operating like clockwork behind the stage curtain. Clocking in the hours, exploiting human bodies and minds like oil and land. People programmed into systems. Violence, fear, materialism, hate, afraid of what we don’t understand, products of our environment. Environments where death is normal. Is this the world?
So how do we fix it? You can send an individual person to rehab, to therapy, to church, to whatever saves them. But how do we transform a culture? What does therapy look like for an entire community?
My mind is spinning, with words, not images… Cuz I can ask myself these questions all day, but I must imagine what this looks like. Visualize! What does my dream world really look like?
Recently my mom took a ‘mindfulness’ class to help her mind be a machine to create peace for her whole being. Or should I say our minds are the instruments with which we paint our realities, and we all want peace in our realities.. whether or not we are conditioned to know peace… we all want it subconsciously. As a human being I don’t want to be controlled by my mind, I want to be in control of it! However, I happen to find that thoughts in my head are actually easier to control than the feelings that sometimes overwhelm my senses and pound through my chest. As a fellow human, don’t you find the same? Do you tend to lose control of your thoughts or your emotions more? Well, ding ding ding! It turns out they are connected! My mom said that in her mindfulness class, she learned that we can actually combat overwhelming feelings/emotions like loneliness with our minds!
I know that seems cheesy.. and like a “life realization” that a middle-schooler has the first time they smoke weed or something (::: Yes, my first time smoking the “peace pipe” was middle school.. 7th grade behind the Boys and Girls club? Go America! :::) Anyways…going back to that thought about controlling our emotions… I found that to be really profound!
The way our thoughts and emotions work is (according to Mama’s class) as follows:
First we think thoughts, and then our emotions connected to those thoughts come second! SO if you don’t like way you’re feeling in life, think about different thoughts which have different emotions connected to them!! Lightening strikes! Yes?
An example could be if you’re trying to get out of a funk and you come home every night and watch 30 Rock because thinking about the fact that your lova has left you is just too EMOTIONAL… don’t think about the fact that the bed is empty, or “what is that person doing right now?” or those type of pointless thoughts. They don’t lead to anything but weird feelings! INSTEAD think about something fascinating that directly causes happiness or just different emotional reactions. Its a training process… And anything is better than loneliness in my opinion so train yourself out of it! (Note: that example I used before was actually not my life… It was, um.. a friend.. They’re doing fine now, thanks for asking).
I was thinking about this.. (thinking about thinking, la la la)… while I was driving home from a meeting just now and while I was in the car I wasn’t really paying attention to any thoughts going on in my head, but was CONSUMED with all these EMOTIONS: Nostalgia. Sadness. Empowerment. Longing…and now as I am writing…GRATITUDEEEE! (which, if you like to think about everything in the world having energy, you will like this: Of all the emotions to feel, gratitude has the highest energy vibration! Even higher than anger, or jealousy or sadness! Gratitude! yes, I know you feel that shit!!!)
Anyways, in the car I was thinking…Life is full of transitions and transformations and right now I am dead-smack in the middle of some pretty big ones. Some of these emotions that I feel came from all this open space that I now have in my life because I transitioned out of RYSE; the job Ive been working at since I moved to the Bay Area. (This is the non-profit youth center job in Richmond where I have spent two years building community and learning the importance and immeasurable benefits of youth development work….where I learned how to do grown up things like taxes and Excel spread sheets, and where I got to work alongside some of the post kick-ass powerful people I have ever met!) I have transitioned out of a full-time position into doing MUSIC FULL-TIME! “What!? Why did she do that?” Because! Its awesome and now my office is my bedroom, and now I have entire DAYS to plan out my set lists for shows! I get to work with professional musicians who I am genuine fans of, and whose “professional musician lifestyles” permit them to have meetings at cafes on Mondays at 2pm (or whatever) which I could never attend before, but now I CAN! Its exciting but also strange because instead of seeing all the faces that I used to see everyday at RYSE, I just stalk them all on FaceBook and it gets lonely/ creepy on my end of things.
BUT, however creepy my Facebook stalking is becoming now that I am self-employed, I will say this: It is a beautiful thing because music has been my dream for many years and now I am being consumed by it! I can literally feel my mind morphing into that of a music nerd… Its SO FUN, I get to study Adele lyrics and think about frequencies and when I go to Guitar Center to buy new cables, I know somewhere down the line, I’ll get a little bit of money back for tax right off.’s. Yupppp, thats the life ;)
Im rounding up Week-Two now of self-employed life and thus far, its been pretty cool. I have to practice control of the mind though because, as an artist, things do tend to get pretty emotionally heavy up in there and if I don’t be careful, I might forget how to have normal conversations with the human race.
There are other transitions taking place in my life like separating from a person that I spent a good deal of time with for a while now. It is strange but really good to have severed the knot, so to speak. There are so many types of relationships and love and ways that we “be” with others. I dont really want to go so deep into it I just decided, but I do want to say that I learned something this year.. That love means being HONEST which can be hardddd. Its hard to honestly look at ones self and see where we can improve and to see how we are hurting others. Love isn’t supposed to be fighting and yelling and tears all the time, but it DOES look like someone communicating and telling you straight up that you could do better. Where am I going with all this, you may ask? This is called a rant and if I can make it work, then dammit! I will try and make a rant sound poetic, as long as you haven’t walked away from your computers yet. What I am trying to say is that while I am also transitioning out of RYSE and old life-routines, I am also transitioning into a new understanding of love.
I am going to play some guitar and try and write a song now to put on my album which I am working on creating with the help of two AMAZING producers (Lila Rose and David Earl) !!! It is in its early stages, but I finallllyyyy feel really good about this one. This project and these recordings which are in the works, they will be good. Stay tuned, Summer 2014? Heyyyyyy, its right around the corner!
Peace be with you, and goodnight world